


Every Possibility Except...

by invidiia_e



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Best Friends, Cuddling & Snuggling, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Internalized Homophobia, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oneshot, Pining, Soft Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Soft Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Touch-Starved, Touchy-Feely, and they were ROOMMATES, dream has so much unearned confidence, sapnap is so afraid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:28:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28953465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/invidiia_e/pseuds/invidiia_e
Summary: You would’ve never known unless he told you, but Sapnap’s love language was absolutely physical touch. He knows it, and his mom knows it, but he’s never let anyone else know. Part of it, he thinks, is some internalized toxic masculinity with a tasty pinch of internalized homophobia.Dream and Sapnap have been friends since high school. Sapnap has never been very touchy but Dream assumes that's just how he is, he's only a little bit wrong. Who would've thought playing with his best friend's hair a little bit could lead to this?
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 101





	Every Possibility Except...

You would’ve never known unless he told you, but Sapnap’s love language was absolutely physical touch. He knows it, and his mom knows it, but he’s never let anyone else know. Part of it, he thinks, is some internalized toxic masculinity with a tasty pinch of internalized homophobia. He doesn’t remember when he decided that he wouldn’t accept physical affection from anyone he wasn’t dating, all he remembers is that he did decide. 

Dream and Sapnap have spent most of their time together since the day they met. They’d gone to school together for years, but only noticed each other when they sat together in chemistry their junior year of high school. What started as casual classroom conversation turned into studying together, then texting, then facetiming, and before anyone had the chance to blink, they became best friends. 

After high school, neither of them really knew what they wanted to do. At most, Sapnap knew he wanted to go to college, and Dream knew he didn’t. They also both knew they didn’t want to continue living with their parents. With what they knew, the most logical solution they could come up with was the two of them moving in together. So they did. 

But, of course, that’s all in the past. Right now, Sapnap is in his sophomore year of college as a computer science major and Dream is working a couple of minimum wage jobs, both to keep himself busy and to make sure Sapnap never has to worry if they’ll have enough for rent. Their apartment isn’t very large or flashy, but sometimes how much they’re paying makes it feel like it should be. Neither of them seems to mind, though. They’re just happy to be together. 

Dream hears their door open as a very tired Sapnap enters the apartment. He moves one arm to rest on the back of their sofa as he watches Sapnap shuffle closer, finishing his route when he flops face-first onto the couch next to Dream. “Hey, big guy,” Dream chuckles, “tough day?”

Sapnap mumbles unintelligibly into the pillow he’s laying on. 

“What was that?”

Sapnap turns his head lazily, still not quite looking up at Dream, “I said, yes, very,”

“Aww, do you need a wambulance?”

Without moving, he furrows his brows “What I need is a fucking break,”

As much as Dream wants to keep teasing his friend, something tells him to back off. He opens his mouth to say something snarky, but closes it and instead rests a hand on Sapnap’s head, gently scratching his scalp and playing with his hair. “I know,” he says gently, “break is coming though, only like a week and a half left!”

Every muscle in Sapnaps body is tense. Oh my god. He thinks Oh shit, what the fuck do I do? He’s playing with my hair. But he’s my best friend so this shouldn’t be weird. We’ve been best friends for, like, ever, this should be normal. So why the fuck do I feel like this? And why is my mouth so dry? I think I can feel my heartbeat in my stomach is that normal am I gonna die?

Sapnap’s racing thoughts are cut short by Dream’s voice, “Jesus you must really be tired,” he jokes tenderly, “I don’t think you’ve ever been this quiet,”

Sapnap tries to respond but the sound got caught in his throat. 

“You alright?”

“Yeah,” he tries to say, voice breaking. He clears his throat and tries again, “Um, yeah, sorry just,” he can’t think of anything to say that won’t sound incredibly gay. Sapnap knows his best friend isn’t homophobic, he wouldn’t be friends with him if he were, he just doesn’t want to take the chance that coming out would lose him his best friend. He’s thought about it but never gone through with it. He would always find a worst case scenario that would scare him further into the closet than he was before. His fear of being abandoned, no matter how irrational, has forced him to keep the world's biggest secret from the one person who supposedly knows everything about him. 

“Just…?” Dream doesn’t want to push anything but he can tell something is wrong. 

“It’s nothing, really,” Sapnap is lying through his teeth and he knows it. It takes every bit of his consciousness working together for Sapnap not to physically cringe away from the lie. Even then, he’s pretty sure he made a sour face. 

Dream decides to give it one more try, “C’mon dude, something’s up. You stopped being able to keep secrets from me like 3 years ago,”

Sapnap chuckles, careful not to move his head. I wouldn’t be so sure. “Yeah, okay, promise not to like, laugh, or anything,”

“I dunno about promise, but I’ll try,” 

“Well, fuck this is so stupid. It’s uh, it’s been a long time since I was in a relationship,” Great. Super not gay way to start, your best friend puts one hand on your head and the first thing you say is about past relationships? It’s truly amazing he hasn’t figured it all out and left you already. “And um, I guess, I kinda missed human contact more than I realized,” Sapnap closed his eyes halfway through his sentence so there was no way he could see Dream’s reaction. 

“Huh?” Dream doesn’t mean to sound judgemental, he’s just, very confused. He takes a second to think, then he looks down at his hand in Sapnap’s hair, still massaging his scalp. “Ohhhhh,” he finally realizes, unsure of whether he should remove his hand or not. Instead of deciding, Dream stops moving his hand but keeps it on his friend’s head. They’re both quiet for a moment. 

“Sorry,” Sapnap says, barely audible, even to himself. 

“What was that?”

“Nothing,”

More quiet. 

“You know,” Dream says, beginning to move his hand again, “if you wanted to cuddle you could’ve just said so,”

Sapnap can hear his friend’s smile “Shut up!” he says, playfully hitting Dream’s thigh, still careful to keep his head still. 

They go quiet again, though this one is more comfortable than the last. They stay like that for a moment, Dream playing with Sapnap’s hair. At one point Sapnap moves his head from the pillow into Dream’s lap. He’s grateful for his friend’s intuition when he feels a hand settle in his hair again. 

Another moment, and then Dream breaks the quiet, “I was only joking a little bit,”

“What?”

“About the cuddling,” now it’s his turn to stutter, “I uh, you, I mean obviously you don’t have to. If you, uh, if you don’t want to,” he pauses, collecting his thoughts, “But you’re right, you don’t realize how much you miss contact until you have it again,”

It takes Sapnap longer to respond than Dream would have appreciated. “You’re serious? Like, you wouldn’t think it’s weird? Because I know we joke about cuddling the homies and like kissing the homies a lot but-”

Dream cuts him off “I’m serious,” he says with another audible smile. 

Sapnap smiles and shifts onto his back so he can look up at his friend, who is somehow even more beautiful than he remembers. He silently curses his cheeks for flushing. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

Dream squints, “Probably not, but I’d love to know what you’re thinking,” Dream doesn’t remember if Sapnap has always been this beautiful. He probably has, I just, never noticed for some reason. He’s definitely noticing now. He’s also definitely noticing the warmth spreading across his face.

Sapnap shifts so that he’s sitting up next to Dream, “You go make popcorn and pick a movie, I’ll set up pillows and blankets and make the room all cozy, and we’re gonna have the comfiest movie night ever,”

Dream smiles, his face growing ever warmer. The look that Sapnap is giving him makes him want to melt. Something about the way Sapnap’s eyes brighten when he smiles is so gorgeous, and the way he’s biting his bottom lip ever so slightly-That’s probably not a very heterosexual thing to think about your best friend. Dream hadn’t ever questioned his sexuality, but he’d also never exactly labeled himself as straight. Something about it just never felt right. Now, he thinks he knows why. Alright, well, I guess I’ll think about this more when I’m not about to be snuggled up with my possible first gay crush and also best friend of 4 years. “Sounds perfect,” he says, starting to stand. Without really thinking, he bends down and kisses Sapnap on the top of the head. You went from ‘probably not gay’ to handing out kisses very quickly. He tries to be as casual as possible as he looks for the popcorn. 

After taking a second to process what just happened, Sapnap smiles to himself. He turns to look at Dream, who thankfully isn’t looking back at him, and somehow he forgets he was supposed to be setting up the room. It isn’t his fault, you’d do the same if you were in his position. Dream is just so… Dream. The way his hair has gotten just a little too long, so he has to constantly shake it out of his face. The way his posture is always seemingly perfect, despite being at a computer for most of his free time. The way the curve of his lower back looks like it would perfectly fit Sapnap’s hand. The way his lips are so perfectly pink, and they look so soft. He can’t help but wonder what it would feel like to kiss him. For what seems like the hundredth time today, Dream’s voice pulls Sapnap back to reality. 

“Hello? Anybody home?”

Sapnap’s blood runs cold and his face goes hot, he’s been talking for a while, “Shit, yeah sorry. What’d you say?”

“I said don’t you have a room to be making cozy?”

The familiar lightheartedness from Dream helps Sapnap relax “Oh,” he giggles, “yeah I guess I do!”

It only takes Sapnap about 10 minutes to set up enough pillows and stuffed animals to form a mountain against the corner of the room his bed is pushed into. It takes another 5 to figure out what combination of candles, LED lights, and lamps make the room feel the coziest, without being too gay. What the fuck does that mean? Too gay? Straight guys can’t have pink lighting? In an act of small self-defiance, Sapnap turns the lights in the room pink. It’s only a coincidence that the pink lights are actually much better than the orange he had them set to previously. He’d also considered red but the idea of cuddling with his straight best friend while watching a movie with red lights made Sapnap much too shaky. Happy with his decision and feeling his war with internalized homophobia was won for today, he nods to himself. 

Dream, somehow, spent almost the entire 15 minutes just looking for the popcorn. He’d begun to convince himself they just didn’t have any when he remembered the last movie night they had. ‘Why the fuck would you put the popcorn anywhere other than the cabinet right next to the microwave?’ Sapnap’s voice rings out in his memory. He chuckles as he opens the cabinet and immediately sees the popcorn right in the front. “I guess it does make sense…” 

While Dream was putting the popcorn in the microwave and picking the movie, Sapnap was trying to decide how to lay on the bed. He wants to be in a position where it’d be easy for Dream to cuddle up to him, without looking too eager. At first, he was on his side, his head propped up on his arm, facing the door but that didn’t feel right. Then he faced away from the door and pretended to be on his phone for a second, that felt worse. Maybe I should pretend to just be finishing with the pillows? No, he’d see right through that. He looks to the stuffed animals for guidance, “What should I do?” Shockingly, he receives no reply. Sapnap rolls off the bed and pads over to the doorway, fuzzy socks silently hitting the carpeted floor. He sees Dream, presumably looking for a movie, standing in the kitchen, looking at his phone, facing directly away from where Sapnap is standing. Sapnap gets an idea. 

Dream is scrolling through the movies on Netflix, trying to pick anything to watch. He jumps a little when he feels arms tentatively wrapping around his waist, followed by a chest on his back and a cheek on his shoulder blade. “Well hello there,” he says through a smile, “room all set up?” He feels a nod on his back. The hand that isn’t holding his phone moves to rest on top of Sapnap’s. He thinks he feels Sapnap’s breath hitch but quickly shakes the thought. “I know the movie was my responsibility but I have no idea what I’m doing here,” he turns to try and see the man behind him, “wanna help?”

Sapnap takes his arms back from around Dream’s torso as Dream turns around and hands him his phone. Sapnap takes the phone, fingers ever so slightly brushing against Dream’s. He wants to turn around and lean on him but something keeps his feet planted. Before he can debate more a movie catches his eye, “The Boys in the Band is supposed to be good!”

“Oh yeah?” Dream questions while moving toward the microwave, hand barely ghosting across Sapnaps forearm as he passes him, “What’s it about?”

Shit. “It’s about this group of gay guys from like, the 60s, trying to have a birthday party, but I think one of the guys’ college roommates shows up? Shit hits the fan ‘cause they’re all gay and it’s the 60s so like, everyone who isn’t gay is homophobic. It’s supposed to be really good,”

Dream turns around, a massive bowl of popcorn in hand, an even more massive smile on his face, “Sounds good!” They don’t realize, but the whole way to the bedroom both boys are debating whether or not to grab the other’s hand. “Wow!” Dream says as he sets the bowl down on the nightstand, taking in the room, “it only took you like, 15 minutes to do all this?”

Sapnap smiles at the floor, still not sure how to receive compliments gracefully, “Yeah, you like it?”

Dream flops into the pile of stuffed animals, “It’s as comfy as it looks,” he pauses to look Sapnap in the eyes, “I love it,”

After years of receiving compliments from Dream, Sapnap should be more used to it. But there’s something about the way that he shifts his tone every time that Sapnap doesn’t think he’ll ever get over. He giggles out a small “Thank you” as he sits on the edge of the bed to cast the movie from Dream’s phone to the tv across his room. When they first moved in and Sapnap was strategically putting his tv across from his bed in a way that would be perfect for cuddling and watching a movie, he’d felt silly. Right now, however? He’d never been more grateful for how a tv was set up in his life. For a minute, Sapnap stays frozen where he is, suddenly painfully unsure of any movement he thinks about making. 

“Are you gonna make me watch this whole movie without any popcorn or are you gonna come over here?” Dream teases, patting the empty bed next to him. 

“Oh,” he laughs, grabbing the bowl of popcorn, “I guess you can have some,” Sapnap had never been the little spoon, his brain would never let him justify asking any of his ex’s to be the big spoon. Once he scoots back and lays down next to Dream though, he’s a little bit glad this was his first time being the little spoon. Dream pushes one arm under Sapnap’s pillow and lays the other across his friend’s torso. He uses his top arm to pull Sapnap closer to him, earning a surprised yelp from the younger boy. 

“I told you I was strong,”

“Mmm, I still don’t know about all that,”

“What!”

“Well yeah, just because you dragged me a little bit doesn’t make you strong,”

“Oh come on now, you can’t-”

“Shhhh they’re talking I can’t hear the movie with you in my ear,”

As much as he hates doing what he’s told, Dream just lets out an indignant huff. He keeps relatively quiet for the whole movie, and the next one, and the one after that. After they’re finished with their third movie of the night the boys realize they’re out of popcorn. They had actually been out of popcorn for a while, Sapnap just wanted to allow his friend to escape if he wanted to. 

“Ah shit,” Sapnap says, “gotta get more,” as he moves to try and start to get up, he expects Dream to move his arm. Instead, he gets Dream pulling him even closer. 

“Do we really need popcorn?” he mumbles into the back of Sapnap’s neck, “‘M comfy, and it’s cold in here, and you’re nice and warm,” Dream feels Sapnap tense up under his arm. Not a lot, just enough for him to notice. All at once, Dream realizes exactly where he is, and what he’s doing, and how long he’s been doing it. As he realizes, he allows himself to think far too much about why Sapnap would be tense and any hope for logical thinking goes out the window. What if Sapnap didn’t really want to do this and he was just here because he didn’t want to upset Dream? What if he was fine with it for a while but didn’t want to anymore? What if he thought it was weird that Dream still wanted to hold him? What if him mentioning the popcorn was really him trying to escape? Dream pulls his arm back and leans away from Sapnap, “I’m sorry-”

Before Dream can finish his apology, Sapnap takes his hand and moves his arm back where it was. “Nothing to be sorry for,” he says as he adjusts, moving impossibly closer to Dream. 

Once they both relax, the pair stay there, together, hand in hand. They both breathe the same unsteady, uncertain breaths, neither of them knowing what else to do. It feels like 30 years and 30 seconds have passed at the same time. Every part of them that is touching feels like there’s a tiny flame just below their skin. The quiet is far from uncomfortable, both boys just appreciative of any amount of time they can be close. Eventually, though, Sapnap does break the silence. 

“Hey Dream?” 

He receives a hum in response. 

“Can I tell you something?”

Another hum, “What’s goin on?”

Sapnap shifts, back flat against the mattress, head turned to look at his best friend. Something about the pink lighting combined with their proximity brings a new beauty to Dream’s eyes. “Well,” Sapnap tries to start his sentence but, for the second time today, the words get caught in his throat. 

Dream rubs his friend’s chest comfortingly, “You can tell me anything, Sapnap. I’m your best friend,” ouch, “and I love you,” ouch again, “and I’ll always be here for you, I promise,”

“God, you’re not making this easy,” Sapnap laughs dryly, eyes now glued to the ceiling. He takes a deep breath, “I don’t know how to say this any other way than to just say it, so I’m gonna do that,” another deep breath, “Dream,” deep, rich brown eyes meet bright swirling green once more, “I like you, like, romantically. And I totally get if that makes you feel some type of way if you don’t feel the same,”

“Sapnap,”

“I just want to still be friends, whatever that means, if it means I have to move out I totally get that,”

“Sapnap,”

“I just can’t lose you, ‘cause you’re still my best friend and you have been for so long I don’t know what I’d do without you, and-”

“Sapnap!” 

Sapnap freezes, tense and bracing for whatever he’s about to be told. Every possibility swirling through his mind all at once. Every possibility except for…

“Can I kiss you?”

“What?” he blinky dumbly at Dream. Surely he misheard him, or he’s hallucinating. 

“Can I kiss you?” Dream repeats as if it’s the easiest question in the world. The look he’s giving Sapnap is almost indescribable. Like he’s everything and more. Like he’s afraid if he looks at Sapnap too hard he might break. Like there’s never been another person who’s ever felt any more love than he feels in this moment. 

After a moment of stunned silence, Sapnap closes the gap between them, his hand moving to cradle the back of Dream’s head, Dream’s hand moving from his chest to ever so gently cup his cheek. They finally pull away and lay there for a moment, forehead to forehead, nose to nose, both needing time to process what just happened. 

Dream speaks first, “Wow,”

“Yeah, wow,”

“You’re definitely not moving out,”

Sapnap laughed a little, smiling into another chaste kiss, “Definitely not,” He turned all the way over, his entire body now facing Dream. He tucked his head under Dreams chin and breathed in deeply, being all but consumed by the smell of the other. Dream wraps his arms around Sapnap tightly, pulling the two impossibly closer together. They start to drift off to sleep, together, when Dream thinks he hears a mumbled “I love you” from below him. Deciding the two had been through enough emotions today, he just kisses the top of Sapnap’s head once more and gently drifts off to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> so this is my first time ever posting my writing anywhere and I only edited it once lmao. i left the end kinda open so I could continue it if people seem to like it B)


End file.
